Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Dear Lord Above, Self-Pity Takes a Lot of Work!!!

And I am done with it!!  I managed to maintain it for 12 whole hours before packing it in due to the boredom of such intense self-focus!!

No, I don't feel better physically.  I have been feeling crappier by the hour, but, as much as I would like to I cannot possibly maintain this mentality any longer.  I am sufficiently exhausted without that going on!

I caught myself a few minutes ago spontaneously thanking God that the day is coming to a close, that tomorrow is another day closer to feeling well again and for for all my friends and family who have been so empathetic in their expressions of concern for me.  

Thus far my husband has been fighting his own viral infection off and I just pray and pray he can manage to get to the Cursillo on Thursday and last until Sunday afternoon!  So far he is in better shape than he was earlier this morning.  Long may it last.

He got a tremendous amount of cleaning and tidying done in the basement today...at last all the summer camping gear has been able to be put back where it belongs because for now he has managed to sufficiently seal off the leaks in the basement walls.  He has reorganized the food and household product storage shelves, swept up the floor, knocked spider webs out of the ceiling trusses and generally accomplished a whole lot!  Tonight he is able to work on his talks for the weekend Cursillo that we believe, so far, in faith, that he will be able to attend.

The maintenance crew was here today for the annual autumn inspection for "pests under baseboards, in carpets and furnaces".  Just like last year they made not one search for any such thing, just tested both the fire alarms and left again.  At least last year they vaccuumed out the bottom of the furnace and changed the filter!  This year, not even that much.  We hope they will be back next week to do at least that much, but we are not getting our hopes up too high! hahaha  What a crazy place this is!  When they left, the 2 fellows were having a heated argument about our upstairs smoke detector.  One was pointing out how ancient it was and that it really should be replaced...he is the new guy.  The other fellow kept telling him that wouldn't be necessary because this one still works...sort of....the longer term employee.  It was a toss up as to whether the whole issue is laughable or incredibly upsetting in that we doubt that smoke detector will be replaced!  Around here, one never knows!

The Canada Post parcel delivery truck showed up here this afternoon and we signed for a large parcel from our son.  There were FRAGILE and HANDLE WITH CARE stickers all over it.    When we unpacked it we found 2 kinds of amazing Japanese tea for my husband that our son found at an organic farmers' market in Shibuya during his recent visit to Tokyo, an amazing smelling blend of spices from the Comox Valley where my father in law lived for many years and one of our son's beautifully painted red clay plates I have loved for several years and never ever thought it would be mine to have and enjoy!!  He and a group of other artist friends get together twice a year or so and paint pottery dishes.  This one was done in 2012 and is particularly gorgous with a deep blue, orange and black crescent moon style pattern on a white background.  Both of us are delighted to receive a surprise gift, but even more delighted by the incredibly loving note that accompanied it.  Wow......  He is not a truly expressive person outwardly with his family, but occasionally you find out how he really feels and it blows us away every time. (I will post a photo of the plate IF I ever figure out how to do that in Stupid Google...that is what I am officially calling it now...Stupid Google!)

For lunch I had a lower fat/lower sodium Swiss cheese slice with 2 Stoned Wheat Thins crackers and 3 prunes with 1/3 cup yogurt.  Those are the only things I can taste right now.  Wow, the old tastebuds are skeewumpus with this cold!  For supper I had a small bowl of my husband's home made tajine style dish of chick peas mixed with cooked tomatoes, onions, apricots and prunes.  I couldn't taste any of those things but the hot pepper spicing got through and I enjoyed that immensely.

So, although it is not yet 7pm I am going to head for bed and try to get some sleep while my sinuses are not completely clogged.  Not sure how long that will last, but between one medication and another and huge bottles of distilled water bedside, I will survive another night sitting up and trying to breathe.  Just a few more days....just a few more days....just a few more days.... at least I have been able to keep up with the daily dishes and tidying up.  So far, so good!

Fighting a Cold AND Bloody Stupid Google On the Same Day....Aaaaargh!!!!!

As of 4am, after yesterday's encouraging shift toward improved health, I apparently moved into Phase 2 of this blasted virus or whatever it is I have.  I woke up with plugged sinuses and a headache, typical cold symptoms.  Sigh....

So, guess I am down for the count for another week.  I know the drill.  Today will be the temptation to pretend the cold segment of the illness is not really going to develop, followed by tomorrow's wee hours of the morning realization that I can't sleep because I can no longer breathe through my nose, followed by about 3 days of feeling like I would rather die as the nose reddens, the eyes water, the sinuses ache like there are knives stabbing up inside them, the tissue boxes are emptied by the dozen, the NeilMeds become a token but practically useless gesture and a doctor's appointment becomes necessary in order to bring out the heavier artillery meds to keep the infection from clogging my lungs and developing pneumonia, before I start the downhill slide to actual recovery.  I figure about a week from today I will be safe to go outside once again, if all goes to form.  How grateful I am this series of symptoms usually happens so rarely in my life.  I am a BAD patient when I have a cold...angry, frustrated and nasty as all heck to everyone I talk to.

Then there is the added frustration this morning of attempting what used to be the simple process of addition of a contact to my GMail account. Hah!  Have you tried to do that lately?  It took me nearly 10 minutes to figure out not only how to find the proper procedure, but also to execute it.  I did learn something important though when I hit an incorrect button: the Merge Duplicate Contacts feature will result in someone whose 3 different email addies I actually need to keep separate, will merge together into 1 addie...an addie that contact has NEVER IN HIS LIFE ever had!!! 

I hate colds!

I hate Google!

I hate feeling hate!! 

I'm really ill.....waaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

Monday, October 24, 2016

Kind People

I am blown away by the kindness of our church congregation.  They were so sympathetic about me being too ill to attend my husband's farewell.  They cheered when he confirmed I am not also leaving.  All afternoon I received emails from people who will happily drive me to church on weekends when he is going to be out of town for work.  The congregation presented him with a HUGE gift certificate for one of our favourite restaurants as a goodbye present.  What loving messages were written by various individuals in the farewell card.  I got kind of teary reading them. A ton of leftover food from the potluck was sent home for us to enjoy today.

I am having what I call The Cusp Day: the day when my own behaviour will determine whether or not I recover quickly now or have a relapse that makes me ill for the rest of the week.  I am feeling weak and tired but the phlegmy throat is much better, the coughing has abated considerably and I had a relatively good sleep last night after my fever finally broke.  So, it is up to me to continue to stay very warmly dressed, continue with the NeilMed and Vicks VapoRub treatments and remain indoors for another day at least.

I ventured out long enough this morning to cross the parking lot and toss the garbage into the bin and then go into the office to find out how Boardwalk wants noise complaints here dealt with.  I was wearing so many layers of warm clothes I felt like a 4 year old dressed up for playing outside in the dead of winter....a tottering, elderly penguin....a trussed turkey.......in other words, extremely uncomfortable.  However it was good to get a whiff of some very fresh air for the whole minute it took to make the round trip.

So happy to learn that if there is another party in the middle of the night at the neighbours' we can just call the 24 hour Boardwalk line and they will send their own security over to deal with it.  That is a relief.  We really have not wanted to bother the city police with a noise complaint when they have so many more important problems to deal with in the middle of a weekend night.

Off to have another rest.......it is so nice to be feeling considerably better, although I have a long way to go.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

No Farewell For Me

 It is rather embarrassing to be too ill to go to my own husband's farewell party. Drat! Since it is only himself leaving our congregation, while I will be staying, it isn't quite as sad to miss out as it would be if the party was to say goodbye to both of us. It is a potluck and since I wouldn't be able to eat at 10:45am anyway, at least I get to avoid looking rude. I am pleased for him that despite his abbreviated tenure there they are still throwing a party 🎉. That is nice, especially since they are so upset he has to leave all ready. They are a lovely, caring group.

It was nice to have a somewhat decent sleep last night. The girls across the parking lot were not partying. I sat up in bed all night to keep my sinuses from pooling gunk in my throat. Sitting upright to sleep when I have a cold is incredibly helpful for preventing badly plugged nasal passages. So, while I still feel crappy, I am grateful it isn't worse than it is. A couple more days of staying inside, having hot showers and slathering on the Vicks VapoRub and I should be on the mend.

Now I am praying my husband doesn't come down with this. I am concerned. One aspect of his CFS is that he is almost always running a low grade infection. The lymph nodes in his arms and thighs are swollen most of the time, but last night the lymph nodes in his neck were starting to swell. That is usually an indication an infection is going to worsen for awhile. He is so busy at work. If he has to miss work due to illness he will be stressed. I am hoping my prayers for his health over the coming week will get a YES answer.

Looks like we may have to reschedule our holidays for next year. My husband may have a chance to return to Africa for a week's conference in mid June....right in the middle of our holiday time. Sigh...  However, it would be a fabulous conference for him and could culminate with a side trip into Burundi if the civil war has scaled back by then. He needs to check on the plans for the hospital our diocese is trying to build there. Lots of exciting possibilities coming his way in the next few months.

It is a lovely sunny day. It is chilly but at least the bright blue sky is cheery after yesterday's grey clouds and drenching rain. We are thrilled that after all the patching my husband did in the basement, there is only one spot where the water is trickling in. Another coat of patching should fix that. Yay!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Feeling Worse By the Minute!


I am hoping I am building to the worst day of this cold....please God can it be tomorrow so I can get that horrendous day of the cold/flu cycle over with???? I would like to remain that hopeful, but I have a strong suspicion the answer to this prayer may be a resounding "NO!" haha

Wow, I truly and totally forgot it was possible to feel this lousy, swollen, achy, leaky and genuinely miserable....for several days in a row. Blah!

Well, while writing this I have managed to scarf down 23 grams of whole wheat carb and my ounce of protein for dinner. I hope I can make it through the night without a snack because I have no appetite and, other than another hot shower, dowsing my sinuses with Neilmed and slathering my entire body with Vicks VapoRub, I will not be exercising off any blood sugar spikes before falling back into bed.

Iiiiiiiiick! Thanks for bearing with me. Downloading my own misery for the universe to peruse makes me feel a tad more in control of the situation.

And yes, to those who suffer such simple illnesses on a more regular basis than I do, I AM a wuss!

And I don't care! You can taunt me all you want. I feel crappy. I feel sorry for myself. And I don't care!  😷

Ugh! I'm Ill! Blecch Pooey!!!

I break a lot of bones but I rarely get colds...once every 4 or 5 years is the usual.  Apparently this is the year.  I had phantom symptoms on Thursday evening but by noon yesterday it seemed I was going to be fine.  WRONG!!

Well, I am not having a whiny pity party, just experiencing the disappointment that comes with having to cancel out on the day's fun activities I was looking forward to:
-getting to know the choir member who was picking me up for the special rehearsal today
-retail therapy and lunch after choir rehearsal with another new friend

So, not the end of the world.  There will other opportunities to get to spend time with all the people involved.  What is more important this weekend is that I pull myself together sufficiently tomorrow morning to get out of bed and drag my sore throat, swollen glands, congested lungs and paining sinuses to church for my husband's final Sunday as priest there, situate myself far enough away from everyone to avoid spreading this cold around and enjoy at least token participation in the cold plate pot luck after the service since it was put together especially for us as the congregation's farewell.

Why do colds never arrive at convenient times, right? hahaha  As if there is such a thing....

The student neighbour girls across the parking lot from us had the party to end all parties last night and it wasn't over until around 5am.  Everyone else in our complex who was obviously awakened by the noise as we were, at least if the number of interior lights in the other suites at that time of morning is anything to go by, didn't call the police apparently.  Usually someone does but no one did this time, including ourselves.  We decided we will let the managment know what happened, how many times these loud parties have occurred over the past 18 months and do the management the courtesy of letting them know the police are now going to be called every time the noise goes past 1am.  That is giving these girls and their many friends 2 hours past the city noise bylaw to pack in the yelling and singing and screaming.  It is most unfortunate in this day and age that it isn't safe for my husband or myself to go over there in the middle of the night and simply ask them all to be quiet, but with the amount of drugs and alcohol that were apparently being consumed, not knowing if any of them were armed....good grief how things have changed in the last 20 years....we decided it wasn't wise to try to approach any of them.  I will probably drop a note in the girls' mailbox as well to inform them of the intention to involve the police.  It makes us both feel badly.  There is so little trouble in this housing complex, at least as far as noise.  We know that young people who are working hard at university need to blow off steam, but it isn't right that they do that here where working people with  young families are going to lose sleep. So, having to deal with it at all leaves me with added sick feelings in the pit of my stomach.  Nothing makes me happier than when people can just get along.

The grey sky and cold temperatures are kind of depressing too I suppose, BUT another day without snow or ice on the ground is a happy day, illness and all!!  Any day after Sept. 30 that is not snowy or icy is a PERFECT day!!  hahaha

Friday, October 21, 2016

What a Gorgeous Day!

Today has been warm, sunny, with a brilliantly blue sky and only a slight cool breeze....the perfect autumn day.  

It has been so glorious that I have been for two walks today.  My husband had to take the car unexpectedly to work this morning, so I knew I wouldn't be able to pick up a fairly large load of necessary groceries.  I broke the trip into two parts.  Right after breakfast I took two of the more heavy duty fabric carry bags from the hall closet to carry home load number one.  I picked up the heaviest of the necessary groceries after a pleasant walk to the store and with the two bags, balanced evenly for weight, was able to enjoy the walk home.  After lunch I went back to the store for a lighter load.  I was grateful to have an excuse to go out a second time.  Not all the trees along my route are bare yet and I enjoyed walking under the branches still covered with yellow leaves. 

Phone and email conversations today have been encouraging. Sunny conversations have been as uplifting as the sunny outdoors today.  

Tomorrow is a special extra choir rehearsal and I have two offers of rides.  One of my friends wants to go shopping afterward with me for jeans at another mutual friend's store, so I hope the practise ends in time for us to do that.  

If the weather is even half this nice again tomorrow it is going to be a ton of fun riding around the city for music and shopping fun!