Tuesday, August 28, 2012

And On It Goes

Mom, as is her wont, defied everyone last night and not only lived through the night but is on one of the post stroke mini upswings that often happen.  Her face turned from death mask greeny grey to a rosy shade of pink.  Her hair had been brushed out this morning and a lovely pink nightgown adorned her.  The morphine had worn off to the point where her one good arm was waving about from severe Parkinsons tremors and she was distressed as she couldn't verbally express herself.  Eventually the physical pain reasserted itself and she is now sleeping mid afternoon after a mild dose of pain killers.

My husband slept over at the hospice in her room last night and will probably do so again this evening.  He is exhausted to the point where our son had to take the  car keys and drive him home for a nap.  He plans to stay there again tonight and I am urging him to take a break for a couple of hours and go to the movies with our son.

We worked with my sister-in-law this morning to empty the rest of the dresser drawers and prepare the rest of the furniture for the mover.  He has come and gone now for the last time and we will spend tomorrow packing up the dishes and ornaments and clothes for delivery to the thrift stores.  Mementos for one and all have been salvaged and packed for transport home.

Today we decided to find lunch at a reasonably priced, non-greasy, non-sodium enriched, non-lumpy, non-chain restaurant as we are all feeling decidedly stodgy.  Finding such a place has proved to be amazingly difficult in Kelowna.  There is a particularly nice pub with reasonable prices, a lovely East Indian restaurant and now we have found a delicious Japanese take out that is brand new and features chefs who are actually from Japan.  In all the good Japanese restaurants we have found in the past 10 years in Western Canada this one is the most authentic.  It is called Ume and we will definitely lunch there again before we leave here.  We had one of the worst Chinese lunches yesterday that any of us have ever eaten so of course we had to counter that with a return to the Indian restaurant for dinner!  Slurp!  Burp!  Urp!

This blog posting is as scattered as my brain is today.  I am exhausted from the particular stress that comes from sitting still day after day, knowing that someone in the family is going to die but not knowing the precise hour or even day.  It is difficult watching my emotionally worn out husband crying because after he told a joke to his mother this morning she was able to turn her head toward him and say accusingly in her old way at his bad puns, " Oh Dell!!!", before her voice failed her once again.

Losing family to the spectre of death, in this case a death thus far without faith and the accompanying fears from that lack, is one of the most difficult things to go through.  It will take my husband and his sister a very long to deal with this when it happens.  

4 comments:

Penny said...

thanks for the updates. the whole family, but especially you, Dell, and Dell's mom, were in my prayers a lot this morning.....and now I have a better idea as to why! hugs being sent your way.

Susan said...

Thanks so very much! Although this slight reprieve for mom doesn't mean she is getting better, it was good to see her having reactions to voices and touch today. I am taking a break for the evening and will visit her tomorrow.

Penny said...

praying for Dell to take the type of break he needs....otherwise he will crater and be of no use to anyone... but he also needs to learn when it is time to take care of himself so that he can hang in there for the long haul.

You are surrounded in prayer as God directs......it is not an easy time for any of you. How long will Eli be able to stay in the Kelowna area?

Susan said...

He is here until Friday evening. Starts back to work Saturday. It has been wonderful having him here and he is so accepting of the whole situation, the loss of both grandma and holiday. It is nice to have a grown up son.