Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Amazing Judgements

There are times in your life when you discover what other people think of you.  You find out that all manner of folk you  barely know have formed all manner of opinions about how you live your life, a life they know nothing about, and that their opinions are less than flattering.  When this happens to me, I am always amazed at the strength of the opinions formed from the depth of their ignorance of my situation.  While it could be hurtful I suppose, it is easier to just chuckle and carry on.  Ignorant opinions so strongly held do not inspire me to explain reality to the holders.

I have always thought that anything anyone else does that seems odd to me is:
a) none of my business 
b) possibly spawned by an extenuating circumstance that is none of my business
c) rarely something I need to have an opinion about
d) none of my business
e) all of the above

Right now there is a long line of judges freaking out because I have not been able to drop everything and go running off to be with my dad and mom with dad in such dire straits in hospital.  Apparently there are no other current contenders for Canada's Worst Daughter.

So, what do I do to stop these people who drop broad hints to my all ready overly burdened Mother that her daughter is a horrible person?  Do I need to bother or would a dose of reality ruin their fun?

Well, my mother is wisely keeping mum.  She knows a few hidden realities that I face on a daily basis. She completely understands that their opinions about my absence are:
a) none of their business
b) definitely spawned by an extenuating circumstance that is none of their business
c) not something they need to have an opinion about
d) none of their business
e) all of the above

For myself I feel even less need to explain my reasons to these folk than I would have before the opinions began to fly.  

Do people really assume I do not want to be with my parents?  Really??  Since not one of them has had the courage to pick up the telephone and give me a call to ask me why I have to wait until next week to go there I can only assume that deep in their little hearts they are well aware that:
a) it is none of their business
b) my absence may be spawned by an extenuating circumstance that is none of their business
c) not something they need to have an opinion about
d) none of their business
d) all of the above 

So yes, there are several extenuating circumstances that I do not need to explain and now I certainly will not bother to do so.  If any of the self-appointed judges want an explanation they are going to have to screw up their courage and come out of the shadows to ask me what is going on.  I will most happily explain a few facts about my life if they simply ask me.  

In the meantime I have to have a private chuckle about what is going on.  AND, more importantly, guard my own heart and thoughts about what I am thinking about other people.  Am I internally accusing someone of something unnecessarily?  Have I stepped into the arena of judgement over something that is none of my business?  Am I as guilty as these other people?

If so, I had better clean up my own thoughts and stamp out my own ignorant opinions of people, the details of whose lives I do not know, and that are none of my business. 

And now my prayer is that these holders of judgements will leave my poor mother alone! 

1 comment:

chris e. said...

Interesting that none of the critics have called to find out if there's anything they can do to assist you in getting to your dad's bedside faster. I guess for some people condemnation is more important than helping.