Sunday, December 9, 2012

Duh.....

There is something about attempting to be as unobtrusive as possible in a public setting that is akin to posting a sign on my back telling everyone around me to keep their eyes glued to my klutziness at all times!  This weekend's episcopal election event was no exception. Sigh........

Overall it went pretty well...before the Eucharist celebration.......after the Eucharist celebration.....but during the Eucharist celebration, well, not so much.

Ours was the first row to go forward to receive the bread and the wine.  We thought we were to go directly to the communion railing at the front.  As my husband was marching confidently in that direction he failed to notice the servers of the Eucharist marching just as confidently straight toward him in their attempt to deflect him over to the side railing where we were actually supposed to form a line and partake.  He  ground to a halt and he swerved his upper body to the right to avoid crashing into the server of the wine now on his left.  Oblivious as usual to what was going on immediately around me I didn't realize what had happened. I didn't realize my husband was now standing completely still and so I crashed right into him and nearly knocked both him and the wine bearer over the railing. The gaping expression of shock at my faux pas on the face of the wine bearer and the barely concealed snickers from those still sitting in the pews watching us told me our little accident had not passed unnoticed. Sigh.........

To add insult to injury I committed another faux pas in the few seconds between receiving a communion wafer in my hands and its eventual arrival in my mouth.....HUGE sigh.....

I had a rather large name tag around my neck to identify myself as a delegate to the synod meeting and somehow I got my wafer holding hand caught behind the name tag as I went to raise the wafer to my lips.  BUT of course in the combination of reverence for the holy act and the hope that if I closed my eyes the snickerers would no longer see me, I did just that:  closed my eyes.  And subsequently managed to entangle my own hand, wafer and all, around my name tag.  And subsequently ended up taking a bite out of my name tag instead of the wafer.  GIGANTIC sigh........the snickers turned to loud guffaws and my face took on a tinge of pale puce.  It is very difficult to spit out a mouthful of paper and plastic and replace them with a wafer and get that wafer choked down in time to receive the communion wine while holding up a line of 200 other people and still maintain a sense and look of decorum.

Oh well.......no one remembers but me, right?  

I can only hope.......
 

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