Friday, February 1, 2013


Next week my husband will be away at clergy retreat at a monastery.  I am reviewing my own options for that week:

1.  If there is still a room free at the monastery I would be able to book that for myself and do my own personal retreat.
- my husband would have company on his nearly 10 hour round trip drive in this miserable weather and we could spend the time visiting and enjoying being alone together while we travel.
- I would not be stuck carless for 4 days here at home alone, unable to get out on the ice to walk anywhere.
- Perhaps a few days alone on silent retreat with only my Bible and a notebook would be a time of revelation for me, a time to process my thoughts and pray about what my future is going to hold.
- Perhaps a few days alone on silent retreat with only my Bible and a notebook would drive me completely crazy since I am alone and silent most days of my life here as it is and I all ready have plenty of time to think and pray about what my future is going to hold.
- If the highways are covered in ice and snow my tension in the car may be more of a hindrance than a help to my husband.
- It will be difficult for my family to reach me should an emergency arise with my dad.
- My sleep disorder makes new places and different beds difficult to manage for that many nights and I would have to drag along my large humidifier to cope with the dryness of the air at the monastery.
- I would be within an hour's drive of many dear friends and it would be a case of "so near and yet so far".

2.  Accept one of the two invitations I have to stay with friends in Moose Jaw while my husband is at retreat.
- It would be a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with good friends I have not seen since my last trip there close to a year ago now.
- I would not have to spend 4 days in complete silence.
- I would have a good balance between time alone and time with friends, privacy and socializing.
- It could pull me out of the winter funk that happens each January when I am tempted to be depressed.
- Does my husband drive out of his way by 45 minutes or more to take me to Moose Jaw and then do the same after the retreat or do I drop him off at the monastery and do the extra driving, neither of us knowing from one day to the next if there is going to be another storm that makes either of us driving extra time difficult to impossible?
- I have all ready been told by one of the people who would most like me to come that really, I should not come because the ice on the streets and sidewalks is so thick and shiny smooth that pedestrians are falling and breaking bones at an alarming rate and my friend knows I can't afford to take the risk this winter.
- Once again I have the sleep disorder and dry air problems to contend with.

3. Just stay home!
- No worries about beds or humidity or losing my mind in the days of computerless, phoneless, conversationless silence.
- Easy access by my parents and son in case of emergency.
- A chance to just relax within my own comfortable space and catch up on some projects that only seem to be completed when I get a few days alone with no interruptions.
- I enjoy a few days on my own as I get so few of them now that my husband is working 20 feet from the back door of the rectory....or on the computer here in the house.
- A chance to perhaps contact some of the church women who have offered me rides when my husband goes away and spend a bit of extra time with them if I need to go for groceries or mail.
- Being able to remain connected with friends and family through email and phone access.
- Being without the car virtually guarantees I won't be leaving the house for 4 days if I can't get rides as it isn't safe to walk here either on these sidewalks and roads....maybe next year when my ankle is stronger.
- My husband will have to do all the driving on his own and will be completely exhausted by the time he gets home.
- I may miss a chance to spend extra time alone with God if I can't discipline myself to do that here at home in my husband's absence.

So I suppose, since I have no sense whatsoever at this moment as to what to do, I will just continue to commit my week next week to the Lord and see what happens.  

Could be good.  Could be intense.  Could be a crashing bore.  Could be incredibly exciting. Will see what the circumstances and my own peace of mind end up telling me about my direction for next week.

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