Thursday, February 21, 2013

My Favourite Church Bulletin Bloopers

1.  Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2.  The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

3.  Evening massage - 6pm

4.  The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

5.  The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

6.  Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm to 8:30pm.  Please use the back door. 

7.  Ushers will eat latecomers.

8.  The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

9.  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

10.  The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

 

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