Monday, February 17, 2014

The Curse of the Curls!

All my life when I have attended appointments to hairdressers, stylists and what have you, I have heard the same refrain:  "Oooooh, you are SO lucky to have curly hair. There is SO much you can do with it."

While I have generally sat in the styling chair, a goopy smile plastered on my face as my response, in my mind I have been thinking, "No dear one, YOU are the one who can do so much with it.  Me, not so much."

I have absolutely no natural talent, no developed skill, no personal experience in doing one thing with my own hair, (long hair, short hair, medium length hair, natural even length cut, sculpted cut, layered cut, chunked cut), other than letting it dry, blowing it dry, smooth rollering it, pick rollering it, curling ironing it, flat ironing it, pin curling it, perming it, dyeing it and whatever else a person can do to their hair within the confines of their own home, all with the same results:  a frizzy, dried out, Medusa reminding disaster flying wildly from the top of my head and flying outward in all directions.

Over the years there have been products available from my hair dressers, everything from ph balanced to organic and about the time they actually begin to tame my unruly  tresses, my skin sets up some kind of allergic reaction to them and the frizz once again takes over.    At the moment pure argan oil seems to be the only thing that helps at all, but by the time I have worked a sufficient amount into my hair the whole works is lank and greasy looking. Olive oil is worse and baby oil flat out reeks of some kind of dreadful baby powder odor.

I have always envied my friends with absolutely straight, healthy hair.  There is no guess work involved at the stylist's.  No matter how it is cut or what products are used, it hangs there, straight and smooth.  That is all I ever wanted from my own be able to simply wash it, let it dry, run a comb through it and head out the door; nothing fancy, nothing mind blowing, nothing life altering, just straight healthy hair that requires very little attention from me.

In the past week I have noticed, after a short period of relative ease with my hair, that the ghastly dry frizz is returning.  The wonderful organic product I have been using is no longer having much effect and the familiar signs of allergy have begun.  Drat!  This time I was so hopeful. 

Straight haired people rejoice:  you will always, always look nice and if you have the skill to successfully curl your own hair as well, you are blessed.

Talented stylists of curly hair rejoice: you are not fumble fingered like me and have a chance to display your talents with a wide range of hair styles for all occasions.

As for me, here I go again. 

*Note to readers:  please don't bother sending me lists of products you have tried and found success with.  I am sincerely happy for you, but I can guarantee I have all ready tried them or facsimiles thereof.


bullwinkle said...

I hear ya...
No matter what I do, I always
wind up with an afro....

Susan said...

Yup, I hear you! Sorry you are suffering the same hair hassles.
I thought once that if I sheared it off REALLY close to the scalp short, that would take care of my problems. It worked for my son who also has curly unmanageable hair, but in my case little new hairs grow up under the existing hair and stick out from under there. It is like having 2 layers of hair. The one underneath is completely doing its own thing. YUCK!

chris e. said...

I am SO enjoying this post!!! Being a curly girl myself I have also been subjected to the 'you're so lucky you have curls!' dogma. Always at the hands of people who ACTUALLY HAVE TO PAY to have curls. What they don't realize is that their hard earned money buys them curls arranged in a becoming manner. Mine do whatever they please, leaving me looking like a Martian. Add in a hairline cowlick front and centre and you can add 'demented' to my Martian look. My revenge? Growing it all out so the length weighs the curls down.
My brother has 'fro curls and went to a extreme brushcut soon after he started going bald. A few years ago he decided to grow it out and realized that 3 weeks in he was beginning to resemble Bozo the clown with tufts of frizz sticking straight out over his ears.
So there you have it. No options other than total war or total abandonment.
Happy choosing!