Wednesday, October 8, 2014

This Thanksgiving Season I am Thankful for My Son

Dear son: This Thanksgiving season I find I am particularly thankful to have you in my life.  Here are some of the things I am most thankful for:
I am thankful that despite my supposed inability to conceive, you were born.

I am thankful that God in her wisdom permitted me to have the son I always wanted. When I thought about children, before I knew I wasn't technically able to have any, I knew I wanted a boy and one day......there you were!!
I am thankful that you were a curious and intelligent child with deep emotional sensitivities that often surprised me with their wise expressions at a very young age.
I am thankful that although your childhood was not the happiest and you saw so little of your dad due to his work committments, you have forgiven me for my deep imperfections as a parent and your dad for being away; that we have a solid, close knit family who seem to know when to be involved and when to step back from each other's lives.  It has been a learning process but we have all survived remarkably well.

I am thankful for your spirituality and your relationship with God.  It is a very personal relationship that is different from mine or daddy's or anyone else's and it is as creative as you are. I love it.
I am thankful for your maturity about life because it has been hard won and learned "through many dangers, toils and snares". 

I am thankful for your honesty, particularly when you know ahead of time you are going to be saying things my Mother's Heart is not going to want to hear.  Those are the things I most need to know in order to understand who you are and what you are making of your life.  While you deserve your own privacy as we all do, I am thankful that you are not afraid any more to just be real with me.

I am thankful for your incredible work ethic.  While I sometimes worry you are going to burn out, you seem to know how to get a grip when you get too close to the edge. You are learning how to step away from the work and take some relaxation time in order to refresh and restore yourself.  No one could be prouder of how hard you work at everything you do than your dad and I are.
I am thankful that you are not afraid to express your the things you say and do and in your amazing art works.
I am thankful for your incredible sense of humour that sneaks into your life and your work even at the most odd or painful times.

I am thankful for the never ending fountain of creativity that wells up inside you and brings you new joys in your paintings and sculpture year after year.
Finally, I am thankful to be blessed with an amazing son I don't deserve to have.  You are my special gift from God, my son who reminds me that there is a vast world out there just waiting to be discovered, that I have family and am not alone, that brings me intense joy, severe emotional pain, anxiety, peace and all the other good and bad things that sons bring to their mothers.  You exemplify for me the forgiveness that is possible for a son to give to his mother for her imperfections and mistakes as a parent.
You are a son I am so proud, thrilled and completely stunned to be able to call my own.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Love, Mom

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