Yesterday I had what I thought was a wonderful idea for a love gift for my husband. After all these years I know him well enough to know that when it comes to purchasing something for him that isn't an absolute necessity, it is best not to ask him about it first, better to go ahead and make the purchase and a quiet presentation.
So what did I do yesterday? I stupidly asked him about getting the item and if he would enjoy it. Well, DUH! OF COURSE he would enjoy it...that is why I considered getting it for him in the first place. The question was unnecessary. My dear husband, the one who has no sense of entitlement whatsoever, of course told me that it wasn't something he really needed and so I was not to bother with it. He would be content making do without it.
Since he told me that I know that for me to NOW go out and purchase it would cause a ruckus and he would likely never use his gift because he told me not to bother, he doesn't need it.
What is wrong with me?? I know better than to ask him before purchasing something for him that adds to his personal comfort because he feels badly if he agrees ahead of time to a gift that is purely for his own pleasure.
Dumb, dumb, dumb on my part.
Perhaps this will be the occasion that has taught me to keep my big yap shut and go buy the man something special, just for himself, with no prior discussion. He has spent his entire life simply making do with barely adquate "everything" and while I respect that about him, I need to be subtle in helping him just enjoy life on occasion.