Sunday, August 30, 2015

What Does An Only Child Do??

My parents have hit "ludicrous speed" in their quest to explore seniors' living possibilities.  Dad is determined he is going to "look after your mother" before he dies by trying valiantly to move them into a progressive care seniors' facility they can't really afford and that my mother, should dad actually die first, will be forced out of once his government pensions cease to come in.  

Mom cannot stand up to him, to make her own needs known. She never has been able to.  She is not ready to go to any sort of place where she can no longer cook and enjoy her favourite baking hobby.  She is aware of the horrendous drop in condo prices and how little they will be able to get for their place if they put it up for sale on the current real estate market.  She is aware that if he does die before her she will not be able to stay in the place he has chosen for her to be looked after in.  He is also technically aware of this fact and yet is no longer able, mentally, to grasp what he would be doing to her future.....or, knowing dad, maybe he can and is trying to punish her should she outlive him.  With dad it is pretty difficult to know when his mind is clear but nasty and when he is not with it enough to be completely rational.

In the meantime I am caught in the middle...each one pleading a separate case and expecting me to be an advocate for that case with the other one.  I, whose input and assistance has never been wanted nor accepted, is now expected to solve their present life crisis.

I do not know what to do, what to say to either of them.  So I have chosen to step out of the equation for now.  They go for a tour of their preferred and unaffordable facility in the middle of September and so we shall see what happens as a result of that visit.

There is certainly no reason to assume she is going to outlive him and that is what I can't get through to either of them.  The stress in her life is going to do her in before his heart problems finish his earthly life, but not one thought for the future is being spent on this possible scenario.

Well, that is my rant, my venting for today.  I feel better just writing it all down to peruse at my own leisure.  

As with everything else, I will commit the situation to daily prayer and see what God does with it.  So far in life most everything has ended up working out for the best interests of both my parents once the dust has settled on their every stressful situation.  I have to assume that will be the result this time as well.

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