I admit it: I have a terrible case of the Winter Wussies this year.
Yesterday I didn't really have that much to do here at home and by rights should have left the house for some reason, trumped up or real, but I didn't. I got myself all ready to go, walked a bag of clothing over to the charity collection bin across the parking lot and decided that the scattered patches of frozen mist on the ground and covering my car windshield constituted a glorious reason to remain tethered firmly to my sofa watching tv and reading a cheap novel. Sigh.... Lazy, wussie, freaked out by nothing, me!
This morning I HAVE to go out. It is pay day for my husband and that means it is the day to go to the bank(s) and perform a few monthly duties there. The first snow of the day is starting to come down, making the bit of thin ice on the streets more slick and dangerous, but it is hardly a problem just yet. I do have proper winter tires on the car and all the necessary ice and snow clearing accoutrements. All my wussie nerve endings are on high alert and I am all ready talking myself through the straightforward, uncomplicated drive to run my errands. What on earth am I going to do at times when my husband is away later in the winter and there is at least a half inch of ice cover under the slippery snowfall and I HAVE to leave home???
God and I are having quite a lot of discussion this morning as I get myself ready to leave The Wonderful World of Denial and get a move on in the start of winter weather. If I didn't have him to talk to I would be too paranoid to ever leave the house once the snow and ice begin.
The number of falls and broken bones over the past few years have me spooked. I admit that too. It is a constant battle both indoors and out to fight off unbidden mental images of myself falling down on pavement, on stairways, even on uneven lawns. The pictures continue to plague me despite having a good grip on getting rid of them once they start. Slowly it is easing, but the past year has been bad for "vain imaginings". If it was as bad as it was a year ago I would have to go for some serious counselling. If it worsens again that is exactly what I will do. We have some wonderful counsellors that work at my husband's office building and I would have no objection to seeing any of them.
Well, I can't spend any more time right now putting off the inevitable. It is time to tiptoe through the goose poop to the parking lot and start clearing the car of rock hard frozen mist. Then I WILL drive to 2 banks...I WILL, I WILL, I WILL!! It will be good practise and confidence building for the trip I also have to make this evening to the airport to collect my returning husband....in the dark and in far worse conditions than are out there at the moment.
Suck it up woosie nerve endings...away we go!