Friday, December 2, 2016

I Admit It: I Am Terrified!

It is nearly midnight and I just got a call from reception at my parents' facility. When I heard Annaliese's voice I of course assumed dad was being rushed to hospital for the umpteenth time, but the shock is that it is my mother currently on her way by ambulance to a cardiac unit. She was having severe chest pains. Annalise said the paramedics were "not freaking out, but said a couple of things needed to be checked right away." A couple of things? Like what??

I feel like screaming at God that he cannot take my mother first. She is the strong one, the one who has kept our small family glued together for decades. She is supposed to live long enough to outlast dad and have a few worry free years, instead of being constantly under stress about dad's health. O God, please do not let this be a case of the caregiver cracking first under the strain.

I feel ill........

Guess I will not be sleeping tonight after all.

Dad will be a complete basket case and in terrible shape himself when he gets home. He has never been the one having to deal with a hospitalized spouse. He is turning 90. He has a very bad heart and leukaemia. Poor dad. Old age sucks! I hope he has sufficient strength to call me when he gets home. I know he will need to talk about things.

Well, I can't do anything right now except to pray and wait, so......


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