So this morning my husband got looking at the plug in cord attached to the tree, with the idea he would put a few mini lights on it that could plug into the appropriate slot. Then he noticed a button beside that slot that looked out of place and seemed to have no function in relationship to the mini light plug. He plugged in the cord, pushed that button and discovered our teensy tree has fibre optic lights buried in the green plastic branches. They are a bit spotty, a bit scattered, a few don't actually work, but they are there.
I am delighted to be the proud owner of the most "Charlie Brown-iest" of cheap plastic Christmas trees on the planet!!