Thursday, February 23, 2017

Officially Elderly

I've had a bit of an interesting time applying for early payout of Canada Pension benefits, but this morning, after 10 days of the application website telling me it was experiencing technical difficulties, the discovery that the paperwork I filed back in 1977 after my marriage was not recorded and so my Social Insurance file would have to be updated before I could apply for pension, etc. etc. etc., I marched myself down to the nearest Service Canada office and did the deed!!

Armed with the necessary paperwork, I arrived at the office ready to plead my case, argue, shout, stomp, even cry if necessary in order to convince someone there that I absolutely need to get this application process underway.  Since I haven't been employed for years the amount I would receive by waiting until the age of 65 is so negligible there is no point in waiting any longer.  As it is, the monthly payout will barely cover a week's groceries, but I want to have a chance to collect something from the years I paid into the plan before something happens to bankrupt it.

As it turned out there was no need to plead any sort of case, no need to argue, shout, stomp or cry.  I arrived just ahead of the morning rush and was in an office with a Service Canada staffer less than 5 minutes after I checked in.  Within 15 minutes my SIN file had been updated, my pension application filled out and sent away to the "powers that be", and I was on my way back to the bus to return home.  Easy peasey!!  Just like that!!  

So, assuming my application is accepted, I can now announce that I am officially old!

I have never been the sort of person who is afraid of other people knowing my age.  I have a somewhat younger friend who freaks out anytime she is with me in restaurants or other places where seniors are given discounts since she usually gets tagged as being one because of being with me.  I am sorry she gets so upset by it.

My idea is that there should be some sort of perk for people who survive the stresses of life long enough to reach the retirement years, so if someone wants to give me a 10% or more discount on a meal, groceries, pharmaceuticals, hotel rooms, retail clothing or anything else, I am taking it!!  With gratitude!  With joy even!  Having a clerk at a cash register announce to everyone within hearing distance that I am eligible for a discount is like a badge of honor to me:  "See everyone within hearing distance?  See?  I am OLD.  I have survived sufficiently in tact to get FREE STUFF!!!  YIPPEE!!!!  Nope, sorry dearie, you are not yet old enough to qualify for the freebies and discounts, so you will just have to wait your turn! What?  You have another six years to wait?  Oooh, that is too bad. I am so sorry....NOT!! Nyaa haa haa.........."  

In approximately one month's time that first miniscule amount of cash will arrive in my bank account.  First one is my own to spend on something I want for myself, before the rest go into a savings account where, by the time I am 65, there should be almost enough accrued to pay for a month's rent at a discount seniors' facility!  Now, how exciting is that, right? WOW!!!!  

Hey, you have to look at life with as much humour as you can muster, right?  Otherwise you have far less chance of living long enough to receive all the discounts and FREE STUFF!!

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