Thursday, March 30, 2017


One last vent about poor old Dad and then that is all for awhile...I promise!  I just have to get the frustration down in print so I can get it out of my system and decide what if anything I can do about it all.

Mom's approach is that Dad is so out of it so much of the time right now that there is no point trying to bring him back to reality about his medical situation so she is just sitting back in order to control her own stress and worry.  I may have to do the same.  He is, after all, going through morphine withdrawal symptoms so can't be expected to be totally rational. I can only hope and pray his lack of ability to listen to reality will not end up hurting him more than he all ready is.

Dad decided that he has to ditch the strong medication the doctor gave him to help control his bowels through the morphine withdrawal.  Dad told me that an hour after he took the first pill his hernia bulged out and he was in terrible pain.  I couldn't figure out how he made the association between the two, so started asking lots of questions.  Turns out he had been racing to the bathroom so often over a two day period that he had removed his hernia belt. By the time he received the meds from the drug store he had been without his belt for well over 48 hours straight.  In an unfortunate coincidence, the hernia chose an hour after his first medication dose to bulge.  Sigh....  

Do you think I could convince Dad that his hernia bulged because of not wearing his belt?  Nope, not a chance.  I talked to him until I felt like I was becoming blue in the face from lack of oxygen. Nope, it was because of that medication.  If his hernia could start bulging after only one pill then the meds are too strong!  Sigh....

As we were talking a neighbour from my parents' former residence arrived at the door bearing some off the shelf strength tablets.  She takes them and swears by them, so of course they must be far safer for his hernia than the ones the doctor insisted he take. HUGE SIGH OF FRUSTRATION!!!!!!  The two things do not equate to begin with.  Taking off the required hernia belt for such a long time of course is what results in hernia problems, but not to Dad's way of thinking at this time.   Blaaah!!

So, I decided to agree with Mom to just let it go. The doctor specifically told him not to bother taking the off the shelf meds because they wouldn't be strong enough to assist his bowels, but suddenly, for the first time in his life, Dad has decided to disobey the doctor.  Mom is so stressed and upset she can't handle the whole situation.

I don't know how I am going to even suggest that Mom move into a smaller suite in their facility in order to free up the funds to place Dad into progressive care downstairs.  In some ways, no, he is not quite ready for that, but it won't be long.  They can't think their way out of a wet paper bag at this point anyway but don't take kindly to suggestions from The Rebel Daughter who ran off and got married instead of devoting her life to caring for them.  Well, hey, it is a convenient enough excuse in Dad's slowly crumbling mind to allow him to ignore anything sensible that I have to say.  It all makes me very sad.

So, if you are one of the prayer warriors who read my blog, do send up a prayer or two as you are so led that my parents can sort out their 90 year old lives in a way that will be safer and happier for them both. Thank you ever so much.  I really appreciate it.  I am going to have to step in at some point but I don't know when that point is going to be and am praying for a smooth segue into the conversation my parents and I will soon have to have.


chris e. said...

Ha, I am already praying. And in case there are any other fellow Rebel Daughters (or sons) reading this, I suggest y'all start reading up on 'scapegoat child.' Discovering there are other people in the same situation and learning how they have handled it has been a real help to me.

Susan Erlenbach said...

Praying my friend! Can't imagine how frustrating that is. Love you