Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Yeah.....Okaaaaaay.....Sigh......

I must be more tired today than I realized I was when I got up this morning.  Actually I'm guessing I should STILL be in bed.  I should not have tried to get up and attempt to function in the real world.  Sigh.......

Started the day off okay. Got our guest and ourselves fed with a decent breakfast.  Located some clean clothes to put on after the men left for their jobs and managed to get some make up on my face and my hair brushed out properly.  From there it was downhill all the way.

I was sorting out some taped tv programming when I remembered that my bus now comes to the stop outside my front door at 10 minutes to the hour and not on the hour itself.  At this point it was 17 minutes to the hour and I had to locate my coat and struggle into my winter boots, find my purse and keys and bus fare....where the heck did I stash my dish of bus fare money???  Ack!!  Found everything I thought I needed, then just as I was about the dash outside I discovered I had forgotten the 2 empty bottles for lens cleaner solution I needed to take with me for refilling....the main reason for busing downtown in the first place.  Off with the sand covered boots, raced up the stairs, almost fell coming down to struggle back into my boots and get to the bus stop.  If the bus had not been 2 minutes behind schedule, extremely rare for this route, I would have missed it.

I arrived downtown feeling somewhat frazzled, but at least I made it on time, AND I didn't completely fall down when I stumbled on an icy snowbank leaving the bus where the driver deposited me.  I continued stumbling down the sidewalk until I regained my balance, looking and feeling like the neighbourhood drunk!  Righted myself eventually and entered Cornwall Centre. First stop was Shoppers Drug Mart to look for some unscented Argan Oil for my fuzzy hair.  YIPPEE!! There were 2 bottles left on the shelf. I grabbed one, tested it for its scent-free status and got into a short line at the cashier.  I noticed as I handed the bottle over to be scanned that my hand felt slightly damp, but that could have been sweat after the near fall outside, right?  Wrong!  As I left the store, till tape wrapped around the bottle, (I refuse to pay 5 cents for a plastic bag), I felt more dampness running down my fingers and across the palm of my hand. Then I realized there was argan oil flowing freely from the bottom of the apparently cracked bottle and running not only all over my hand but down my coat and shirt and pantlegs.  A waterfall of argan oil was free falling all over me and all over the floor of the mall!!  I tore back inside, found the cashier right away and showed him what was going on.  He bravely grabbed the bottle and what was left of its contents and shoved it into a plastic bag.  He told me to go get another bottle.  Remembering there had been only 1 left on the shelf, I raced as quickly as I dared back over to the hair product section, rounded a corner into the aisle and there was the second bottle in the hands of another woman who was reading the ingredients list and hemming and hawing about whether or not she was going to buy it.  Aaack!!  Fortunately for me, as I stood there looking stained and stunned, she put it back.  I grabbed it so quickly her hair was probably blowing straight back, and returned to let the cashier know I had a replacement bottle.  

As I left Shoppers I walked over to a nearby chair in the mall to take out the plastic bag the lens cleaner bottles were in.  I took them out and zipped the argan oil bottle into it instead....just in case it too decided to start a late leak.  In the process I dropped both lens cleaner bottles onto the shiny, just washed floor and they flew in 2 different directions.  I grabbed my purse and took off after the first one, hoping the other one would be found afterward.  Fortunately for me a somewhat raggedy but very nice fellow saw what happened and chased down bottle number 2.  He actually handed it over without asking me for lunch money in return....Cornwall Centre is a great place for street people to congregate and they are not stupid. They know how to ask for assistance.  I thanked him profusely and started walking toward the optical shop. Then I realized one of my rings was missing from my finger.  O no....it is one of my favourite rings and actually worth some money.  I looked about all over the floor area where the bottles had scattered, I looked under the mall chair, I checked inside the plastic bag in my purse where I put the argan oil bottle....NOTHING!!  Sigh....  Drat!!  So, I sat back down and emptied all the contents of my purse into my lap.  There was my ring, wrapped around my key chain.  I couldn't get it off the key chain as it was so wound around.  How on earth can a ring do a free fall into a purse and without any assistance whatsoever, get itself wrapped around a key chain to the point where it is nearly impossible to remove it??? HOW??? HOW????  The good news is that I finally wrenched it off the chain and no harm was done to the ring. The bad news is that my key chain is broken and I have to buy a new one.  (Although surely my husband will have an old one stashed away in a drawer or in a box or inside a sock [!!!???!! Well...if you know my husband...] or in the sewing box, or somewhere in the basement...right???)  

I managed to get the lens cleaner refills without further incident, but I did notice the the clerks staring at my pant legs.. Oh double DRAT!!  In the confusion of flying bottles and missing rings and broken key chains I had forgotten about the now huge and still spreading argan oil stains on my clothing!  Sigh.....  I pretended nothing was wrong and skeddadled out of the optical shop as quickly as possible.  I then decided that since there was nothing I could do about my clothing, I might as well just ignore the stares from complete strangers (Like, we don't know each other so who cares, right?? Of course right!) and complete my errands.  With the cost of bus fare I wasn't going to return home without completing my tasks!  I looked in every possible store for pant hangers. No one carries them there. I even tried the Dollar Store and they of course did have hangers, but not pant hangers!  Aaaaargh!!!  Then I went over to Chatters to purchase some Joico Ironclad....the only product they had JUST sold the last bottle of, literally moments previous to my arrival.  So, no pant hangers, no Ironclad, stains all over my clothes and only some lens cleaner and argan oil to show for my trip...the trip where I darned near tripped on the ice!

Well dang it, the entire mall had seen me in all my argan oiled glory at this point, so I decided I would stay for lunch at Zam Zam wraps.  I was so disgusted by my lack of success in my purchases I figured I deserved lunch out!  My salad was delicious...until half way through I dropped my fork on the floor in the food court.  NOOOOOOOO!!  I was seated just around the corner from Zam's which is rather hidden behind  a construction project in the store next to it.  If I left my coat and salad sitting there while I went for another fork, either one or both would be missing when I returned.  What to do????  Fortunately for me, a nice man seated at an adjacent table noticed my predicament and said he would watch my coat and salad for me.  I decided to trust him as he was obviously an employee at one of the mall stores.  As I rounded the corner as quickly as possible to get the fork from Zam's, I didn't notice quite in time that the floor in front of their counter had just been washed.  I started to slide, bending over backward to grab a small railing along their counter so I wouldn't hit the floor.  Aiiiii yiiiiiii....I must have put on a rather spectacular performance because when I regained my balance and stood up someone started clapping.  I was too embarrassed to look around to see who it was. So, I regained my composure as soon as possible, grabbed a fork and sidled my way back to my table. The nice man asked me if I was okay, believed me when I said I was, then graciously left me alone so I could finish eating my now completely tasteless salad.    As I was putting my drink cup and fork into the empty salad carton to throw it all out in the bin, my other ring fell off my finger and landed in a small pool of tzatziki sauce I had scraped off the salad as there was too much of it today.  Both napkins I had taken from the counter at Zam's and my one remaining tissue from my purse had been used fully and were in the bottom of my drink cup, soggy and useless for wiping off my ring.  There was nothing to wipe the dressing on. To go and get another napkin at Zam's would have meant asking another person to watch my coat while I was gone as the nice man had finished his lunch and departed.  I couldn't put my coat on, or even pick it and my purse up at the same time without getting tzatziki all over the inside of the sleeve because my fingers were covered in sauce from pulling my ring out of the carton.  BIG SIGH!!!!  What to do?  Again, I figured at this point I had publicly embarrassed myself in the mall all ready between the stained clothes, falling bottles and dropping my fork on the ground, so who would care if  I popped both the ring and my fingers into my mouth and did my best to just lick the sauce off everything sufficiently to pick up my coat and head to the washroom to clean up?  Other than one lady who had been looking at me in complete disgust for several minutes, and who cares about her anway whoever she is, right...the other people around me pretended not to notice this performance.  Eventually I managed to discard the carton and its contents, gingerly put my coat over my arm with my one relatively clean set of fingers and got myself to the washroom sink.

As I left the washroom, my pants looking like I had missed the bowl with those darned oil stains all down the front, I decided I had suffient time before the arrival of my bus to wander past the kitchen supply store to look for a bowl to replace a serving bowl I accidentally broke yesterday...and that is another embarrassing story for another time.....and lo and behold so they did and for 50% off.  (Good thing as I really like the bowl but it was badly overpriced without the discount.)  I thought I was in good time to catch the bus home, but by the time the clerk returned from the back with a bowl that was in a box and had taken it out to make sure it wasn't broken or damaged, chatting at me as if we actually knew each other, I had missed my bus by about 20 seconds.  As I ran through the Enter Door instead of the Exit Door, nearly bowling over a young university student whose face was buried in her mobile phone, my bus was just pulling away from the stop.  Triple DRAT!!!!  A half hour to wait for the next one.  Back into the mall I went.  The good news is that I found 2 clearance sales and came home with a beautiful new brightly patterned summer blouse and a pair of white pull on pants, the twin of the other white pull on pants I got dirty just yesterday.  It is nice to be able to replace in dribs and drabs the summer clothes I had to get rid of at the end of last summer.  A lot of things had to go as they were so worn out.  Since it appears a lot of the stores have exchanged the wonderful winter pull on pants with a return to the buttoned and zippered front styles for summer, those white pull ons I found last week and again today will be worn a lot this spring. 

Eventually my bus came and I was able to get on it....after the driver kindly reversed his parked bus by a few feet so that I could find the needed two dollar coin I dropped under the front wheel of the bus as I was getting on. No, I don't know what happened. Maybe there was argan oil and/or tzatziki sauce still on my fingers, but it flew out of them faster than ten dollar bills at a clearance sale.  Sigh....what a nice man that driver was.  He saw what happened, looked at me as I looked at him in shock, reversed the bus without a word and watched me dig through the slush to find the missing coin. Fortunately it was still mostly slush down along that curb, not to much water yet, so I found the coin in a matter of seconds and didn't delay our take off...at least not by much.  Sigh.......my hands arrived home blackened with muck and I had to rinse them in snow water by my front door before I dared open my purse to fish for my keys. At least neither of my rings fell off in the snow! I managed to get into the house without tripping or sliding again, without dropping anything else, without finding any new source of spill with which to drench my person.

I just got my coat off and checked for dirt, my boots peeled off my sweaty feet...the temperature is above zero today and the sun was shining brightly on those itchy wool boot liners....and my purse contents put away before I could spill anything else from the argan oil or lens cleaner bottles, when my phone rang. Groan...now what??

Fortunately it was my newly ordained friend.  We had a great chat and I felt much better.  My oil stained clothes are soaking in Resolve and I will wash them in a few minutes.  

I was going to hop in the car this afternoon and go to the grocery store for some bread, but I think we will just live without it until tomorrow.  Just as well to stay home for the rest of today...just in case.....it HAS to be safer than going out again...well, if I can manage not to break any more dishes like I broke yesterday....right here in the house.....sigh......old fumble fingers strikes again......waaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! I need a nap!

7 comments:

Jo Anne said...

Sorry you went through all of this Sue. But I have to say, you are such an amazing writer, your descriptions of your day so vivid! I laughed and laughed at all your antics. Thank you for brightening my day. XO

Susan said...

Hey, any time! Most of my days are like this to one degree or another, so keep reading. You'll be laughing all the time! Hahaha!

Susan Erlenbach said...

Too funny and sad and frustrating at the same time😀

chris e. said...

Pant hangers: Canadian Tire. They don't always have them, but they are the best. Not pricey either.
And if the stains don't come out of your clothes, go back and rattle their cage. A friend had a similar experience with bleach at Superstore and they actually gave her the cost of a new outfit.
Cheers!

Susan said...

WAY AHEAD O' YA' CHRIS E. WAS AT CANADIAN TIRE AT 8:30AM GETTING MY HANGARS. THE STAINS CAME OUT OF MY CLOTHES JUST FINE. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE MY RESOLVE STAIN REMOVER.

chris e. said...

But does Resolve taste better than Coke?

Susan said...

PROBABLY NOT, BUT A BOTTLE LASTS YEARS LONGER SO IN THE END IT IS JUST AS CHEAP AND I CAN SUPPORT SOME OTHER MASS CONGLOMERATE OTHER THAN THE COCA COLA CONGLOMERATE...CHOOSE YOUR ENVIRONMENT AND HEALTH DESTROYING CONGLOMERATES WISELY, I SAY....HOHOHO!