Saturday, April 1, 2017

Sleep?? You Mean That's An Option???? Seriously???

Our entire extended family has been facing sleep deprivation for one reason and another over the past week.  My husband has taken to waking up in the middle of the night to mentally solve issues at work.  Our son has been having trouble getting to sleep at night as he tries to resolve all the details regarding his move south of the border.  My husband's family are losing sleep over health issues.  I have lost most of the last two night's sleep between the incessant squawking of inland gulls who have taken over the night skies...as in ALL night....and last night's street cleaning going on right outside my bedroom window between 12:15am and 3:45am!  My mom has been losing sleep for the past month due to issues with dad's withdrawal from morphine. 

That brings us to Dad and his current loss of sleep.  The problems with his bowels and his hernia have ended and he is on to the next phase of morphine withdrawal:  the complete inability to fall asleep....ever...at all...hahaha.  I don't mean to laugh because it really isn't funny....except it kinda is....in a way....for me as an onlooker who is not suffering from withdrawal like he is.........teehee.  

Tonight he called me, one of his rare attempts to make the connection instead of continuing to leave it up to me.  As soon as I picked up the phone he started to talk...and talk....and talk...at lightning speed, jumping from subject to subject, not listening to my responses.  He sounded like old speed freak friends from my younger days!  I was trying throughout the call not to break up in hysterics and it didn't help that my mom let out a giggle, tried to rein in her own laughter and subsequently ended up snorting into the phone. That cracked me up completely and poor dad was highly indignant that we seemed to have so little sympathy for him.  

"I can't sleep dammit, and it isn't funny!" 
" No, dad, sure, it isn't funny!! (snort!!)"
"I don't understand why I can't sleep."
"It's because all the body systems that have been suppressed for the past 4 years are starting to reawaken now that the morphine is coming out of your body at last."
"Hmmmmmph! I'm so tired my eyes hurt."
"I am truly sorry Dad. (snicker, guffaw)"
"So, how are you doing?"
"Really well Dad, thanks."
"Well, I AM NOT!!
" I know Dad and I am very sorry. (whoooop, hoot)."
"You don't sound very sorry!"
"Truly Dad, I am....(teehee, giggle, slap thigh)  But you know Dad, you've been asleep for most of the last year, so maybe you are just making up for lost time now. (cackle, cackle)"
"Okay Smartie Pants, enough of that now."
"Okay, sorry Dad...I hope you can get some sleep soon. You know, the inability to sleep is a very normal withdrawal symptom at this point and this too shall pass, just like all the other symptoms have passed."
"Oh....normal is it?"
"Yes, Dad.  You may still also have to experience a few days of having the shakes."
"Oh.....well....okay then.....So, how are YOU doing?  The shakes you say.  We had a horrible wind storm today.  Your mom has been sleeping okay even though I CAN'T! How you are doing? Did I ask you that all ready?  I've had a lot of company this past week. The food here is terrible.  Did I all ready ask you how you are doing?"

"Snort, hoot, whoooop, cackle, cackle, teehee, slap thigh."

Praying we can ALL sleep again at nights very soon!  Especially dear old Dad.
  

2 comments:

Susan Erlenbach said...

Too funny!!

Susan said...

Yeah, sure....NOW it's funny! hahaha