I just read a newspaper article about how breast implants can save lives. I started to read it, expecting some sort of medical breakthrough had been discovered, that implants contain some sort of material that somehow works with the human body to prevent cancer and other diseases, or that implants extend a woman's life into the twilight zone or magically prevent nuclear war....something worthy of an entire, headline article about the life saving quality of said implants.
However, I was in for a surprise! Guess how breast implants can save a woman's life. Go ahead and guess, I dare you!
A breast implant can save a woman's life because if she gets stabbed or shot in the chest, the cushion of the implant will slow the speed and penetration of the impact by as much as 8 cm, will actually change the trajectory of a bullet away from direct penetration at the point of entry.
The excitement of the writer of the article was intense. How bloody marvellous all this information is. Women now have a far greater chance of living through chest stabbings and bullet penetrations if they have implants.
While this is indeed good news on one level, on another level I admit the article left me gaping like a fish. I suppose this article has exposed my naivety about the number of North American women to who being stabbed and/or shot in the chest (or in any other part of their anatomy) is an expected possibility.
Wow.....guess I have learned more than what the article was telling me. The writer's excitement over this information, the pure joy women with breast implants are expected to feel upon discovery of this well researched news, tells me this continent is even more unsafe for women than I all ready thought it was. Silly, silly me!!!
Since I live currently in a city with a high crime rate, perhaps an appointment with my own surgeon is in order? Aiiii yiiiii....