Just this afternoon I spent about two hours juggling monies and bank accounts in an attempt to get through to the end of August without having to use any of our savings. Unexpected dental expenses earlier this year set us back before we even went on holidays and other unexpected expenses all happened at the same time in July. BUT I thought we were going to be okay....until....about an hour ago when I was finishing up my snack before bed.
I bit down on a piece of soft fruit and felt a sharp pain, then realized there was something hard between my teeth....yup, it was a piece of broken off molar. Shoot!!! Our dental coverage is completely used up for this year and now I am going to have to get another crown to the tune of about $1500. O wow, is that tooth ever rotted out according to what I saw on the piece I nearly swallowed. Rats! I feel so badly that it happened right now. It isn't like we can't pay to have it done. We can, it is just such a pain to see another chunk of savings disappear at a time when we so proudly figured out a way to survive the month with that account in tact.
Pride...maybe that was the problem. We started to get proud about how well we have been managing our own resources now that we have some steady ones to manage and God just needs to ensure we give that up and remember our dependence is on himself and HIS provision for us, his answers, his ability to show us how he can care for us better than we can figure out how to care for ourselves. That has been the theme of our married life, that is for sure. This comes at a time when we are thinking we might have to float a loan to our son if he can't get his bank account opened in time to get a month's rent and damage deposit on a new place. With this tooth breaking we can't do it now, so he too will have to ask the Lord for some of God's rather creative financing answers. Like us, he too has certainly seen some dramatic answers to his needs for provision in times past.
What is it with us and savings? It seems every time we get some and feel like finally we are getting ahead some big unexpected thing happens, or in this case several unexpected things and it is gone again. Sigh.....while I am so grateful to be able to pay my way on this tooth, I am very sad as well that it makes such a dent in our itty bitty savings account.
Well, we have reached ludicrous speed on the monthly finances after being just fine for a long time, SO, God, what are you going to do this time? What cool thing is going to happen to get us through this set of unexpected expenditures without leaving us flat broke? I know you are doing something of significance in our lives when crazy things like this happen and the financial side of life appears to be blacker than dirt again.
See what happens? I am tempted to despair and then I start thinking about how God has provided for every circumstance of our lives in the most wierd and wonderul ways and I start getting kind of excited to see what happens next! hahahaha I am wondering how he will work things out for our son too. Some of the ways God has lifted the darkness of despair about finances just blow my mind!
Okay Lord, you always keep your promises to help us not to worry, so, here we go again! In this life we are pretty much failures as far as anyone looking on can see, but you have made us so aware of your trustworthiness and love. You are Jehovah Jireh!