My husband and I spent over 40 consecutive years participating in and leading meetings of small bands of Christian believers in our home. We prayed together, shared our spiritual lives together, studied the Bible together, did community outreach projects together, ate together, talked about our jobs and families, fears and joys together. I am not sure I fully appreciated it until it all came to an end in our lives about 7 years ago when we found ourselves in the midst of religious circles that had no experience and no interest in such groups for one reason and another.
There are so many pluses to participating in home groups/care groups/prayer and share groups, whatever moniker you want to pin on them. Lately I have had reason to start thinking about home groups, so if someone was to ask me about some of the basics in creating such a group, here are some of the things I would tell them. The short version is:
1. Establish a clear reason for having the group. Are you looking for a Bible study (and what do you want to specifically study and why?); a special time of prayer with others (and are you wanting to pray specifically for your own and others personal needs, specifically the needs of your church or denomination, a special interest ministry within the church, or the world wide church?); a chance to get together with others to receive spiritual healing and encouragement from spiritual peers; a group which has purposed to establish a "safe space" for new believers or those simply seeking to understand God and Jesus? When the group first meets establish some reasonable boundaries to contain the discussion and keep the group's focus during meetings.
2. Once the group is formed around a common purpose establish concensus on rules of operation: where and when you are going to meet, confidentiality, allowed topics of discussion, watching for each other's personal giftings and seeing group leadership evolve from those giftings, appointing someone as a general leader who keeps track of time frames, keeps the discussion on track and ensures everyone in the group is given a chance to contribute. Establish means of dealing with conflict that may arise within the group.
3. Stick to the goals of the group and if the goals begin to change discover together why that is and if those goals are heading in a positive direction.
4. As members get to know each other be prepared to hear honest conversation and decide ahead of time not to be easily offended when you find yourself the "target" of that honesty.
5. If the purpose of your group is outreach to others once the core group is established and comfortable together, watch out that you are not reaching the DANGER ZONE: the temptation to exclude new people from the group because you are all so very comfortable together that you lose focus and would rather enjoy that "us 4 and no more" relaxation than to have to go to the work of incorporating others.
6. Remember that a home group is NOT a place for: gossip, slander, defamation of character or other complaints about people outside the group, church leadership, other congregation members. It is NOT a place to compare the condtion of each others' homes, decor, yardwork etc. It is NOT a place to expect the weekly or monthly hosts to provide extensive snacks and beverages and if such things are available it IS the place to express gratitude for receiving them. It IS a place to bring spiritual intimacy, joy, hopeful expectation and a welcoming attitude.
It has been several years since we have had the pleasure of being involved in a home group but that may be about to change and we are excited by the mere possibility of returning to that type of mission and ministry.
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