Still Shaking

It is warmer outside today and I am loving that, despite the ice buildup we will probably end up with if this continues.

I started the day off well, making an appointment to get another crown done starting next week, getting to the library to pick up a book my husband had on hold and heading out to deliver back a Tupperware container a friend had lent me weeks ago.

It was on my way to my friend's place that I very nearly caused a serious accident and I am still shaking ninety minutes later because I can't believe I did what I did!!

There was a driver ahead of me who seemed very unsure about driving on the ice and snow on the street.  I had no opportunity to get around her for many blocks, but finally, about the time she slowed down to 20km in a 50km zone after averaging 30km, I THOUGHT I had my chance to get around her.  I saw another car coming up behind me in the lane I was trying to move into, but I thought I had far more space between that car and mine than it turned out I actually had.  How I misjudged the distance so badly is a mystery to me.  I swung into my passing lane and almost immediately heard a loud honk by the car I had inadvertently cut off.  O no....how could I have made such a mistake?  The car followed me all the way to my destination, more than a few kilometers away from the near accident site and pulled over beside me as I parked.

As soon as I opened the door and the driver rolled down her window, I made my profuse apology and told her what I had done wrong.  She had dropped her son off at his grandmother's house just before I nearly ran her down and the strength of her fury was due to her envisioning what could have happened had we collided when her son was still in the car.  She had every right to be furious.  I made serious misjudgement and we could have had a terrible collision if she had not been on the bit and slowed down sufficiently to avoid it.

One thing I have learned since becoming a Christian is to give up any attitude of being defensive when I am in the wrong....an attitude I used to have as a reaction to being severely embarrassed by my own wrongdoing. Thank you God for helping me with that and for teaching me that admitting wrong doing and apologizing is the only way to live.  Today I am so grateful that young mom followed me to my destination and allowed me to apologize profusely.  She told me how angry she was and why and I told her she had every right to feel that way.  I managed to keep my emotions together and not be defensive, nor to cry, from the embarrassment of what I had done and from the shock of having done it.  We had a very civilized, honest discussion and ended up wishing each other a fabulous day.  Whew....it could have gone a completely different direction had either one of us been "on the fight".  

Part of my shock over what I did stems from setting out this morning with an even stronger than usual consciousness that the present city driving conditions require extra attention to detail, and a deliberate intention to drive accordingly.  I still don't understand how I could have misjudged a driving distance so completely. Just a half hour earlier, while driving downtown I avoided a possible collision nearly caused by a driver who was looking in a different direction than the one she was driving.  It would have been a multi-car pile up had I not realized what was going on and stopped in time. Aaargh!  Writing about it is making my hands shake even more so forgive any typos I miss correcting when I publish this.

Thank you Lord for preventing an accident that I could so easily have caused.
Thank you for that young mom who followed me and talked to me about the whole incident. 
Thank you that the conversation was honest and that both of us could hear what the other person was saying despite the emotions.
Thank you for the conversation ending well.
Please bless that mom and her young son and keep them safe on the roads.
Please help me not to make such a terrible mistake again this afternoon when I have to go out again.  AMEN!