....I am sitting here at my computer at 5am, after not getting to sleep until after 11:30pm, listening to my husband on his computer as he tweaks his PowerPoint for his major presentation of the day at HIS Synod. hahaha He put in a 14 hour day yesterday and is now looking at as much as a 17 hour day today since he woke up so early to work on the presentation.
You know how it is when you have put months and months into planning an event, are responsible for how most of it "goes down", even though the agenda was struck by a committee, because if anything goes wrong you are the one who is ultimately responsible for fixing it. The sheer number of delegates in attendance, the huge number of business issues that must be dealt with in such a limited time period, the myriad small details....once the Synod begins there is a new kind of "overwhelming" for the planners. No wonder my husband is so wired he can't sleep and is up re-tweaking the presentation for the umpteenth time.
Yes, I know this is a very important set of meetings for our Diocese and how we move forward will be greatly effected by the votes yay or nay for each issue, but o my....I will be SO grateful for ME as well as for my husband when it is all over tomorrow afternoon. We are both exhausted from the stress, the lack of proper sleep, the excitement, the hope of change in the Diocese....oh, so many things that get a person's mind whirling around when it should be calming itself down for a night's sleep.
So, since I am up this early I may need to make special plans for my breakfast and lunch times. There is no way I can last another nearly 2 hours to eat breakfast. However, if I don't I will HAVE to eat lunch in the middle of my morning choir practise. The timing of meals as a diabetic is far more hassle for me than being restricted in what foods I can still eat. Argh!! Irritating, irritating, irritating!!
I am glad I was out of the suite so much yesterday afternoon. All that walking removes any real stress I take on over situations out of my control. By the time the Roughriders/Stampeders football game came on last night I was quite ready to sit on the couch and watch it without feeling antsy, wondering how things were going for my husband at Synod. (By the way, GO ROUGHRIDERS!! YAY!! You slaughtered one of the best teams in the league last night!)
My famous denial ability is being seriously challenged as I truly listened to my own voice while practising for choir yesterday here at home. Whoo boy....it is shot, completely done, finished, warbling all around the centre of the notes but not hitting them dead on, breath control not helping the sound one bit. The doctor agrees it may be the one side effect of my meds, as that is known to happen to some patients. Sigh..... So, do I drop out now before we get any closer to the Christmas concert, or do I trust I can pull it off at the actual rehearsals enough times between now and then to cover up my own loss of ability, like I did last Sunday afternoon? I was shocked at how well I did last week at practise, but what if that doesn't happen again? Giving up my one, me only, personal committment is not appealing, but if I can't fulfill the committment it isn't fair to everyone else in the choir. Writing it down makes it sound like some kind of huge deal, but it is really a simple decision: do I stay or do I go? What is best for the group? I will decide after today's rehearsal.
Well, I am going to go and read a book for awhile and try to ignore my tummy, which has started to rumble as it realizes I am awake and moving around. At this point it is after 6:30am....I took a long break from writing this post to make my husband his breakfast....and if I can just last another half hour before I eat then my mealtimes will not be screwed up. I am not hungry enough to want to take a bite out of my desk...not yet anyway, hahahaha.
No comments:
Post a Comment